Splash Bar.   (Photo: Therese-Heather Belen)

The Cock
29 Second Ave., nr. 3rd St.; 212-777-6254.
Recurring theme nights invite ironic acts of depravity and lots of hookups in the cigarette-burned booths from a youthfully down-and-dirty crowd.

Excelsior
390 Fifth Ave., nr. 6th St.; Park Slope, Brooklyn; 718-832-1599.
Cute introspective guys who’ve left their circuit days behind them? You’ve hit the mother lode.

Metropolitan
59 Lorimer St., nr. Metropolitan Ave., Williamsburg, Brooklyn; 718-599-4444.
Williamsburg’s way station for waifs is ground zero for skinny jeans, dirt-cheap beer, smoking in the backyard, and dancing to indie rock.

The Phoenix
447 E. 13th St., at Ave. A; 212-477-9979.
A rock-and-roll bar where beer-gulping Popeyes chat each other up to Britpop and vintage punk.

Splash Bar
50 W. 17th St., nr. Sixth Ave.; 212-691-0073.
Voyeurism at its best finds impeccably groomed hard bodies showering on an elevated platform.

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